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the left hand on the other side

He knew it but needed to see it and he moved through the darkness along the side wall and he edged away a few feet to watch Anthony Perkins on this side of the screen, the reverse side, Anthony Perkins using the left hand, the wrong hand, to reach for the car door and open it.
Don DeLillo – Point Omega
2011-03-14 16:30:31 by:plochingen
As I Think Back Makes Me Wonder How…

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Something about listening to Kool & The Gang’s Summer Madness around this time takes you away to a Bartles & James advert or maybe to Sally Mann’s idyllic summertime in the deep south… I wish i could say it’s like melodic opium, but that sounds like something a confused glowsticking homo candy-raver would say about a shitty mark farina drum loop while sucking on a pacifier and trying to figure out why his parents don’t love him.
Bartles & James made way for Zima, and Lauren Greenfield became the new artchick exploring female gender politics and innocence/sexuality (though in a dramatically different way) – like shaq, zero of two. So it’s even more impressive that after about a decade in the cellar, DJ Jazzy Jeff could take Summer Madnessto the next level with his Summertime. I consider the song much more his than Will Smith’s, though it’s without question Smith’s chef d’oeuvre. On the other end of that list is a lil movie called WIld, Wild West. One of the worst movies ever made, its only real value is as the punch line to many jokes, the best of which is Kevin Smith’s long, long diatribe about comics and movies, discussing the failed plans to a Superman movie starring Nick Cage as the man of steel. He’s discussing how the movie was subject to one problem after another and how it was doomed from the beginning. He closes by recounting Jon Peters, the producer, coming to him with a last-hope idea that the villain of the movie could be a giant robotic spider that would attack Superman and saying something like, "I remember sitting there thinking that it was the stupidest fucking idea i had ever heard in my entire life and then no shit, Peters passes on the movie to start work on Wild, Wild West and one day I’m sitting at home watching tv and the trailer for Wild, Wild West comes and and he put that fucking spider in it as the villain!"
But like so many other incredibly trashy things, the movie holds a special place in my heart. Almost to this day, several years ago I came to los angeles for the first time. I applied and was accepted to The University of Southern California without ever visiting the state, much less the school (those antics are a story of their own – another day, another time). I remember stepping out of LAX for the first time, greeted with sunshine and palm trees and flowing blonde curlies and sexy silky soccer shorts (the woman’s world cup final was being held at the rose bowl and the airport was teeming with hundreds of ridiculously cute teenage soccer girls!). I remember the super shuttle ride to campus, I remember walking through fagg park and into pardee tower to check in… i even remember the orientation advisor that signed me in, a dwarfish black art history major wearing an Omega Psi Phi fraternity jacket with a geeky camp councilor demeanor, spewing rehearsed college freshman / USC jokes.
My roommate and first friend was a jewy kid named eric, a perfect facsimile of jonathan silverman circa Weekend at Bernies and a legacy Trojan, an evangelist, something I had never been exposed to as I was the first kid from my high school ever to go to USC. We spent our entire orientation hanging out out and I saw him the very first day of classes a few months later, but never again until Commencements at our graduation, when I attempted a drunken somersault between isles of students during a solemn keynote and landed a few feet away from him. I was fucking trizashed out of my brains, but I remember saying something like, "Yo bro! Remember me from orientation?! College rules, give me a fucking lei!," at which point I ripped a fifty dollar hibiscus lei from his neck and stumbled back to tell a girl named Kate that even though I had never officially met her or talked to her, that I wanted to "fuck the dickens" out of her when we were freshmen (she was an English Literature major, obvs!). Funny how things work out sometime.
I remember my first crush at USC, a southern belle named Brooke from North Carolina. Tall, hazel eyes and carmel hair, she seemed incredibly sweet and mostly authentic, very cute and a lot of fun… until i ran into her a few months later, a half-concious, fully transformed kappa slut being escorted down the row by some random shithead. Drama.
Our first night together, Eric and Brooke, Mike (a country kid and Better Than Ezra fan from small town Louisana), and Chris (the quintessential Boston kid, took a lot of shit for his twang, gave a lot of shit ‘cos he could), and Aaron and Omar (two kids I did hang out with at USC, one of whom gave me the name steazie and is currently playing in the NFL) and I all walked off campus to the university village theater to see… here it is… Wild, Wild West. It was crazy because this new place wasn’t what i expected – it was like hanging out with a group of amazing friends in high school – like we had known each other for years. None of us were from Southern California, so los angeles as we knew it only existed between our dorms, Pertusati bookstore, the row, and Felix the cat on the corner of Jefferson and Fig…
At the 2006 Harbor School graduation, taylor townsend closes her address with, They say there is no one older than a high school senior, and no one younger than a college freshman…we’re about to find out. Word up.
Bartles & James was created by yuppies in Modesto California and Sally Mann has been playing the new york art scene for a decade. At least Felix is standing strong and Jeff is still hip hop forever.
2006-05-29 19:14:29 by:toastycakes
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