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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit
one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature.
Her question was, “If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?”
She thought for a time and then asked,
“Is it on or off?”

A girl was visiting her blonde friend,
> who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what
> their names were.
>
> The blonde responded by saying that one
> was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
> Her friend said, “Whoever heard of
> someone naming dogs like that?”
> “HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the
> blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

Answer by soupkitty
I LOVE your joke. Here is one you don’t often see…A joke about a blond man!

Blonde Men?

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks “Why in the world are you dressed like this?”
The Cowboy says “Well it’s like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt. So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants. So I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts. So I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, “Now go to town cowboy!”
And here I am.”
Blond Men do exist

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There were two brunettes in the front of a truck, and three blonds in the back. They rolled off a cliff into the ocean. The brunettes survived, but the blonds died. Why? They couldn’t get the tailgate open.

==

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what’s wrong. The owner of the broken Porsche said, “I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.” The other said, “Oh, don’t wory, I have a spare one in the back.”

==

Two blonde roommates went shopping one day. On the way, one blonde told the other that she had forgotten to switch off the iron. The second blonde turned to her friend and very cooly assured her that the house would not catch fire as she had left the tap running.

==

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????”

==

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

Answer by switters
Hilarious

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I think they are, but do you?

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…. Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????”

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

RIVER WALK
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond… “They’re watch dogs

Answer by Jami
ROTFL! Especially the doctor’s office one.

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Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away… Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????”

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

RIVER WALK
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken”

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”
She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blonde.
“They’re watch dogs!”

Answer by rosy
lol they are funny

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BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking…….. and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away……….Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida…?????”
THE BLONDE’S DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

“HELLLOOOOOOO…” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs!”
ok ok last one!
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

Answer by amy i
cool

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Two blondes living inOklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????”

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

RIVER WALK

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;

likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?

“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”

“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”

The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”

The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

thank you for answering!!! *offers you cookies*

Answer by skrew.yu
Cute, cute. Thx again.

PEACE

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BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking…….. and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away……….Florida or the moon?”
The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida…?????”
THE BLONDE’S DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

“HELLLOOOOOOO…” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs!”

Answer by bumblebee
the first ones better
the 2nd is like kinda corny
the persecuted blodes *sigh*

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BLONDE ENTERTAINMENT

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away….
Florida or the moon?’ The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloo, can you see Florida ?????’

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, ‘What’s the story?’

He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’

She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’

SPEEDING TICKET

A policeman stops a speeding blonds and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’

ON THE RIVER

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.’

THE DOCTORS OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

‘Impossible!’says the doctor. ‘Show me.’

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?

‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’

‘I thought so,’the doctor said, ‘Your finger is broken.’

KITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’

‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’

THE SPACE RACE

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’

The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’

The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’ The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’ She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’

GUARD DOGS

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’ ‘HELLOOO..,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’

Answer by Vandana S
These are very funny!! LOL!!

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A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HellOOOOOOO,” answered the blonde. “They’re watch dogs!”

It was the first day of school, and the kindergarden teacher was standing in front of her class. She said to them, “Ok children, before we get started, I want to make sure none of you think you are dumb. Because none of you are. If you think you are stupid, please stand up.” She waited for a couple of minutes, but no one stood up. One boy stood up and the teacher asked, “Now Bobby, do you really think you are stupid?” Bobby answered, “Well, no ma’am. But I didn’t want
you to be the only one standing.”

+~* $ t@r 1f y0u l1k3 th3/\/\ *~+

Answer by Blitz33
lmfao… that kid owned the teacher.

*4u

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Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
“The chicken sounds good, I’ll have that,” Hillary says.
The waiter nods: “And the vegetable?” he asks.
“Oh, HE’ll have the fish.” Hillary replies.
Signs Hillary Clinton Does Not Understand New York
* Actually ate a street vendor hot dog.
* Sees Statue of Liberty and asks, “Oh, is that new?”
* Believes the Mets can take it all the way this year.
* Gave speech to Hasidic Jews in which she promised to “fight for the rights of you Amish folk.”
* Had an exploratory committee look into what an extended middle finger means.
* Keeps asking when she’ll get to meet Batman.
* Featured guest at her fundraisers: Reggie Miller.
* Thinks the “subway” is just some place Bill takes her for their anniversary dinner.
* Paid $ 25,000 for a sidewalk Rolex.
By accident Hillary Clinton and Bob Dole met.
“If I were your wive”, Hilary said, “I’d put poison in your coffee”.
“And
if I were your husband”, replied Bob, “I’d gladly drink it.”

Answer by guba2giba -OMAR =)
stupid

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